I would like to share stories that may be familiar to you. As a trauma therapist and educator, I supervise those working in pastoral care. Mary (pseudonym) was one of them. She was an experienced and compassionate pastoral caregiver.

I get so exhausted at the end of the day. The stories I hear have grown increasingly complex in recent years – violence, addiction, child abuse, moral injuries, spiritual warfare, illness, dying and death. It is impossible to remain hopeful when they suffer so much. I am overwhelmed by their raw pain.   

Mary was struggling with ‘compassion fatigue’. It is when caring for others leaves you emotionally, mentally, physically, relationally and spiritually exhausted. 

Tim (pseudonym) was a thoughtful, hardworking minister. 

I am shocked to realise how resentful I have become towards some people in my church. I do my best to remain caring and compassionate, but people do not change. They keep raising the same complaints about others for months, if not years. All blame, no ownership, no gratitude.  

Tim showed signs of ‘burnout’. This occurs when ongoing stress leaves you exhausted. You lose empathy for others, withdraw, and are unable to cope or stay motivated due to prolonged exposure to stress. 

I have met many Marys and Tims who yearn for wholeness and restoration. They pour out almost everything to serve the Lord. They struggle with “the costs of helping” (Hernández et al., 2010, p. 69) and pay “the cost of caring” (Figley, 2002, p. 1433) at a heavy price: loneliness and isolation, failing relationships, unresolved conflicts, loss of motivation and passion, lack of confidence, increasing self-doubt, limited capacity, mental or psychological blocks, poor health (emotional, mental, physical, relational and spiritual), and more. 

The Cost

Scripture makes it clear that carrying others’ pain without adequate support or respite leads to compassion fatigue and burnout. Even the strongest leaders reach their limits. 

• Jesus was often exhausted and had to withdraw from the crowds to rest and pray (Mark 6:31).
• Elijah experienced emotional, physical and spiritual burnout after intense ministry pressure and even asked to die from exhaustion (1 Kings 19:4).
• Moses overworked, shouldering significant responsibility alone, until Jethro pointed out that he would wear himself out and advised him to delegate (Exodus 18:17-18).
• Martha devoted herself to hospitality but became overburdened by her workload, ended up feeling resentful and distracted (Luke 10:40).
• Mary, Joanna and Susanna helped others out of their own means in ministry (Luke 8:2-3). I wonder how they sustained themselves.

Capturing the 5%

How joyful are you about your ministry or current occupation (if you are not in ministry)? If you feel joyful for an average of 5% of your day, you can consider yourself doing well. That 5% is a magic number, sufficient enough to fill your cup of soul and keep your ministry (or your occupation) meaningful and worthwhile. Those who have grand expectations for joy (e.g., “I should be joyful all the time”) tend to become disappointed, minister with despair and fatigue, and may even leave the ministry. I think ‘all the time’ is a dangerous notion and an unrealistic expectation. Why? Ministry is full of complexities, as we live in a world of ambiguity, uncertainty, crisis, war and countless unavoidable stressors. 

I know some who intentionally keep a personal journal to capture that 5%. They record the Holy Spirit at work in their lives and in those they pastor. They note the ‘rare’ moments when they feel moved, cherished, wonderfully surprised, or grateful in ministry. These moments remind them of their sacred calling and ‘a reason to stay’. Yes, they, too, have experienced burnout and compassion fatigue throughout their ministry.

What do you expect from being joyful in ministry (or your occupation)? 5%, 10%, 50% or 100%? How is it working out for you? What brings you joy, and what takes it away? 

A yearning for wholeness: ‘Intentionality’

Regular, intentional respite from ministry is ‘God-led’ (Genesis 2:2-3): it is not optional. It is part of our pastoral responsibility towards ourselves, as ministry can easily drain us. Our bodies are temples, and we need to care for them (1 Corinthians 6:19-20) to maintain wholeness, enabling us to serve more effectively and with greater joy. Unfortunately, we are more familiar with Christ’s image of ‘great sacrifice’, which contributes to burnout and compassion fatigue among pastoral caregivers (Louw, 2015). We forget that Christ ‘intentionally’ took time to pray and rest, modelling sustainable ministry while embodying ultimate compassion and sacrifice (Luke 5:16). 

What do you ‘intentionally’ and ‘regularly’ do to support yourself and sustain your ministry? Do you also keep a journal to capture the rare 5% of joyful moments? Do you take silent retreats or spend time in solitude? Are you intentional about saying yes and no? Do you laugh, sing, and play enough? Do you allow time to process and grieve when you are overwhelmed, disappointed, or hurt? Have you built a small circle of trusted friends or colleagues? If you have 3 or 4, you can consider yourself fortunate. You can include your supervisor, mentor, or spiritual director in that circle, too.

Time for wholeness and restoration 

May I invite you to take a moment to reflect on Psalms 23 and 139, with ‘burnout’ and ‘compassion fatigue’ in mind? There is an underlying current of David’s burnout, fear and anxiety, and his search for assurance and spiritual yearning for restoration. You might enjoy a good cup of coffee or tea, perhaps with a box of chocolates, as you settle into a quiet space. What catches your attention today?

You might like to ponder these questions when you have a spare moment later: 

•  What has been the cost to you of discipleship and of grace (Bonhoeffer, 1959), and why?
• How do you keep the flame of your sacred calling alive when gripped by profound self-doubt?
• In what ways do you connect with and remain connected to God when you are fatigued?
• How do you care for yourself ‘regularly’ and ‘intentionally’ – especially on a very busy day or during a hectic season?
• Who is your support, and why?

References

Bonhoeffer, D. (1959). The cost of discipleship. SCM Press.

Louw, D. (2015). Compassion fatigue: Spiritual exhaustion and the cost of caring in the pastoral ministry. Towards a ‘pastoral diagnosis’ in caregiving. HTS: Theological Studies, 71(2), 1-10. https://doi.org/10.4102/hts.v71i2.3032

Figley, C. (2002). Compassion fatigue: Psychotherapist’s chronic lack of self care. Journal of Clinical Psychology, 58(11), 1433–1441. https://doi.org/10.1002/jclp.10090

Hernández, P., Engstrom, D., & Gangsei, D. (2010). Exploring the impact of trauma on therapists: Vicarious resilience and related concepts in training. Journal of Systemic Therapies, 29(1), 67–83. https://doi.org/10.1521/jsyt.2010.29.1.67